We’ve all seen it.

The crying lady who can’t pull it together long enough to make her point without a scene. The whining teenager who manipulates his mom into letting him do what he wants. And on and on it goes.

Heck, I haven’t just seen it; I’ve lived it!

I am reading Emotional Intelligence for Dummies right now. Businesses and organizations now are not just looking at your GPA and past experience as a success indicator. They want to know if you have the qualities it takes to succeed not only in the books but in life. Are you a team player? How are your people skills? What about anger management and conflict resolution? These are things a GPA or test score won’t tell you.

Here are five ways to tell if you are an emotionally intelligent person:

1. Self-Awareness. Before you get caught up in the heat of the moment of a frustrating situation, are you able to identify triggering thoughts or feelings that lead to the conflict? Sometimes identifying your own emotions leading up to the frustration can prepare you to deal with it in a healthy and professional way.
2. Self-Control. (Read: this does not mean “bottling yourself up.”) It is important to identify and manage your feelings before they bubble up like a volcano. Knowing what caused the conflict can help you process the natural cycle of emotions and allow them to pass by so you can get on with your life.
3. Self-Motivation. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” Having the ability to motivate yourself and keep your momentum level up increases your personal happiness and productivity. It is also an important factor when working in teams. One motivated individual tends to motivate others. It’s human nature.
4. Empathy. An empathetic person identifies, sympathizes, and feels the pain of another person. Someone with high emotional intelligence has the ability to not only manage their own emotions, but manage others in a positive way as well.
5. Social Skills. Positive social skills include being a good communicator, being able to resolve conflict, and respecting other people’s work. Emotionally intelligent people draw energy from team work, and they do it by having great people skills.

I highly recommend reading the book, Emotional Intelligence for Dummies. Also, if you are interested in how your brain works (it’s not as scary as you might think- and I would know!), you might be interested in taking the Myers-Briggs personality test. (This is not diagnostic for any mental health issues; it merely identifies whether you are an Extrovert vs. Introvert, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Perceiving vs. Judging. I am an ENFP.)

Back to the book.

Not only does it give great advice about how to assess your level of Emotional Intelligence, but it gives you practical ways to improve the way you handle yourself, your happiness, and people you interact with.
And since I’m me, I am highlighting or underlining something in almost every paragraph.

Visit again next year and witness a whole new me!

PS: If you’re fascinated by this stuff as I am, you might want to check out The 8 Types of Intelligent People.

*Disclaimer: I wrote this article based on my own experiences and research in the area of emotional intelligence. I am not a doctor or a healthcare professional of any kind; DO NOT use this article in place of professional advice.

 

Originally posted 2010-09-21 20:45:11.

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